Prophetic guidance in raising children

[سواها قلبي]

Translation by Google



Prophetic guidance in raising children


The father’s responsibility for his children and the warning against neglecting this:

{ O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a
(6)Fire whose fuel is people and stones,}
Surah At-Tahrim


{ (15)‏ Your wealth and your children are but a trial, }
Surah At-Taghabun



On the authority of Ibn Omar, may God be pleased with them both, he said: I heard the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, saying: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The imam is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The man is a shepherd of his family and is responsible for his flock. The woman is a shepherd in her husband’s house and is responsible for her flock. The servant is a shepherd in His master’s property and he is responsible for his flock, and each of you is a shepherd and responsible for his flock.” Agreed upon (3).


On the authority of Maqil bin Yasar, may God be pleased with him, he said: I heard the Messenger of God, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, say: “There is no servant whom God has protected from his subjects, who dies on the day he deceived his subjects except that God forbids him Paradise.” Narrated by Muslim (4).


On the authority of Abu Hurairah, may God be pleased with him, that the Messenger of God, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, said: “If a person dies, his work comes to an end except for three: except ongoing charity, knowledge that is beneficial, or a righteous child who prays for him.” Narrated by Muslim (5).



(1) Surat Al-Tahrim, verse 6.
(2) Surat Al-Taghabun, verse: 15.
(3) Kh. 2/, AD 1829.
(4) M21 - (142).
(5) AD 1631.





[the explanation]

The children are a trust in their father’s neck, and their upbringing is his responsibility. They are his subjects and he is responsible for them. He must advise them and make their reform and upbringing as God intends his main concern and primary work. He should not be satisfied with that by providing food, drink, and clothing and become busy with his worldly works and neglect them. If he does that, then he - Often - he regrets and feels sad in this world if they grow old and in the afterlife if he is asked about the waste of trust in them.



[the benefits]

- Children are the father’s subjects and he is responsible for their upbringing.

- The danger of neglecting to raise children and its harm in this world and the hereafter.

- The virtue of raising children well, and that this is what benefits their parents after death.

[سواها قلبي]

Caressing them, caressing them, and being kind to them:

On the authority of Anas, may God be pleased with him, he said: “The Messenger of God, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, was the best of people in character, and I had a brother called Abu Umair - I think he was weaned (meaning: he began to mature) - and when he came he would say: O Abu Umair, what did Al-Naghir do?” (Walnagar: a small bird). Agreed upon (1).

On the authority of Buraydah, may God be pleased with him, he said: “The Messenger of God, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, addressed us, and Al-Hassan and Al-Hussein approached, wearing red shirts, stumbling and getting up, so he came down and took them, and he ascended the pulpit and then said: God has spoken the truth: {Indeed, your wealth and your children are a test}. I saw these two, but I could not be patient, then he began to The Sermon.” Narrated by Abu Dawud (2).

Respect them and give them their rights, even if they are young:

On the authority of Sahl bin Saad, may God be pleased with him: “The Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, was brought a drink and he drank from it, and to his right was a boy, and to his left were the old men (i.e. the elderly). He said to the boy: Do you give me permission to give these? So the boy said: By God, O Messenger of God, no.” I prefer someone with my share over you. He said: So the Messenger of God took it in his hand” (meaning, he put it in his hand). Agreed upon (3).

(1) Kh. 10/582 (6203).
(2) D 1109. It was authenticated by Al-Albani in Sahih Al-Jami’ 3757.
(3) Kh/86 (5620), AD 2030.




[the explanation]

The Messenger, may God bless him and grant him peace, in his dealings with children, is our role model in raising our children. We must treat our children as the Messenger, may God bless him and grant him peace, treated the children of the Companions. We see him - as in these hadiths - being very kind to them, and he would stop talking to the Companions in order to have compassion and love for Al-Hasan and Al-Hussein, and he would also caress children, and he did not find any objection to that, because that would make them feel love and kindness, which would have a good effect on their souls. He also respected them and did not deny them their rights under the pretext that they were young, as many parents do.

[the benefits]

These hadiths have educational benefits, including:

- Adults caressing children in a way that makes them happy.

- Showing compassion and love for them, even in gatherings of people.

- Respect them and give them their rights, and not ignore them under the pretext that they are young.

[سواها قلبي]

Warning against lying to children:

On the authority of Abdullah bin Amer, may God be pleased with him, he said: “My mother called me one day while the Messenger of God, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, was sitting in our house. She said: Come, I will give it to you. So the Messenger of God, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, said to her: What did you want to give him? She said: Give him dates, so the Messenger of God said to her. God, may God bless him and grant him peace: If you did not give him anything, a lie would be written against you. Narrated by Abu Dawud (1).

Allow them some permissible entertainment:

God Almighty said about Joseph’s brothers: “Send him with us tomorrow to graze and play, and indeed, we will be his guardian” (2).

On the authority of Aisha, may God be pleased with her, she said: “I saw the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, at the door of my room, and the Abyssinians playing in the mosque, and the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, covering me with his robe, and I looked at them.” Narrated by Al-Bukhari (3).

[the explanation]

One of the greatest means of education is education by good example, which is for the child to see the good qualities that we want to raise him with in his parents and those around him. If we want to raise him to be honest, we should not lie to him. Well tolerated
Children have some permissible entertainment; Because their souls are not yet accustomed to seriousness, they are allowed some entertainment with the supervision and participation of their parents.

[the benefits]

- Prohibiting lying to children because it harms their upbringing.

- Permitting children to watch permissible entertainment.




(1) D 4991, and authenticated by Al-Albani in Al-Sahih 478.
(2) Surat Yusuf, verse: 12.
(3) Kh 1/549 (454).

[سواها قلبي]

Direct them and direct them towards them:

And [mention, O Muhammad], when Luqman said to his son while he was instructing him, "O my son, do not associate [anything] with Allah. Indeed, association [with him] is great injustice."
Until he said:

([And Luqman said], “O my son, indeed if wrong should be the weight of a mustard seed and should be within a rock or [anywhere] in the heavens or in the earth, Allah will bring it forth. Indeed, Allah is Subtle and Acquainted. (17) O my son, establish prayer, enjoin what is right, forbid what is wrong, and be patient over what befalls you. Indeed, [all] that is of the matters [requiring] determination.) Sora: Luqman

On the authority of Abdullah bin Amr, may God be pleased with them both, he said: The Messenger of God, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, said: “Pass your children in prayer when they are seven years old, and beat them when they are ten years old, and separate them in their beds” (i.e., sleeping places). Abu Dawud bought it (2).

On the authority of Abu Hurairah, may God be pleased with him, he said: Al-Hasan, may God be pleased with him, took the test of someone who practices charity and put it in his mouth: Then the Messenger of God, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, said: K-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k---throw it away. Did you not know that we do not eat charity? “Agreed upon (3).

On the authority of Omar bin Abi Salamah, may God be pleased with him, he said: I was a boy in the lap of the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, my hand wandering through the newspapers, and the Messenger of God said to me May God’s prayers and peace be upon him: O boy, name God and eat with your right hand and eat from what follows you.” Agreed upon (1).

…………………………….

(1) Surah Luqman, verses 13-17.
(2) D 495 Al-Nawawi said in Riyadh Al-Salehin, p. 131: With a good chain of transmission.
(3) Kh. 3/354 (1491), AD 1069.

……………………


On the authority of Ibn Abbas, may God be pleased with them both, he said: I was behind the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, one day, and he said: O boy, I am teaching you the words: Protect God, and He will protect you. Protect God, and you will find Him with you. If you ask, ask God, and if you seek help, seek help from God. And I knew that if the nation listened, they would benefit you. This theory did not benefit you except that God had written it for you, and it was recorded that the reason for your occurrence did not benefit you except that God had written it, and the pens were lifted and the newspapers dried” and Al-Tirmidhi’s text (2).

[the explanation]

One of the things that many of their students ignore in order to teach their children and introduce them, not as a means of scolding or scolding for a reason only, but rather, starting with an explanation of concern and compassion for them, is to give them a name for acceptance, and they should not be neglected so that they do not understand.

[the benefits]

- It is permissible to treat them lightly, even if they are young.

- The legitimacy of a summary of the complementary stages in their education.


………………………………
(1) Kh. 9/521, AD 2022, D. 3777, d. 1857.
(2) D. 2516, and he said it is Hasan Sahih.

[سواها قلبي]

The necessity of justice between children:

( إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَأْمُرُ بِالْعَدْلِ وَالْإِحْسَانِ )

God Almighty said: {Indeed, God commands justice and goodness} (1).

On the authority of Al-Numan bin Bashir, may God be pleased with them both, he said: My father gave me some of his money in charity, and my mother said: I will not be satisfied until the Messenger of God, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, bears witness. So my father went to the Prophet, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, to testify to my charity, and the Messenger of God, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, said to him: “Did you do this to all of your children?” He said: No. He said: “Fear God and be just with your children.” So my father returned and returned that charity. Agreed upon. (2).

In a narration: “I do not bear witness to injustice.”

And in a narration: He said: “Would you be happy for them to be equal to you in righteousness? He said: Yes. He said: Then no.”

[the explanation]

Justice is required in everything. It is necessary in the treatment of children and their upbringing so that hatred and animosity do not arise between them. Therefore, the Messenger, may God bless him and grant him peace, did not bear witness to the charity of one who does not treat his children equally, and he called it injustice. He commanded him to be just among his children, and the predecessors, may God have mercy on them, loved to equate between children.

----------------------------
(1) Surah An-Nahl, verse: 90.
(2) Kh. 5/258 (2650), AD 1623.



Their children even in the Qiblah (1).

[the benefits]

- The necessity of justice in every matter.

- Prohibiting giving preference to some children over others in gifts.






----------------------------
(1) Ibn al-Qayyim mentioned this in his book Tuhfat al-Mawdud.

[سواها قلبي]

The virtue of being kind to girls and raising them

On the authority of Aisha, may God be pleased with her, she said: A woman came to me with two of her daughters and asked me, but she did not find anything with me except one date, so I gave it to her, so she took it and divided it between her two daughters, but she did not eat anything from it. Then she got up and left with her two daughters, so the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, entered upon me, so she told him her story, and the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, said. May God bless him and grant him peace: Whoever is afflicted with something by girls and treats them kindly, they will be a shield for him from the Fire.” Narrated by Muslim (1).


On the authority of Anas, may God be pleased with him, he said: The Messenger of God, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, said: “Whoever supports two female slaves (meaning two girls) until they reach puberty, he and I will come on the Day of Resurrection, and he will join his fingers.” Narrated by Muslim (2).

[the explanation]

The girl is a weak human being, and she was not created to be independent on her own. She often needs someone to support her, and since belittling and despising girls was a reprehensible pre-Islamic custom, the Messenger, may God bless him and grant him peace, wanted to raise them, honor them, and be kind to them, and promised him a great reward.

[the benefits]

- The virtue of raising girls and providing for them is a reason for entering Paradise.

- The Messenger, may God bless him and grant him peace, urged kindness to girls due to their weakness and need.

(1) M 2629.
(2) M 2631.

[سواها قلبي]

The virtue of sponsoring an orphan and the desirability of being kind to him


God Almighty said:

( فَأَمَّا الْيَتِيمَ فَلَا تَقْهَرْ )

(So as for the orphan, do not oppress [him].)

76:8 ( وَيُطْعِمُونَ الطَّعَامَ عَلَىٰ حُبِّهِ مِسْكِينًا وَيَتِيمًا وَأَسِيرًا )

(And they give food in spite of love for it to the needy, the orphan, and the captive,)






On the authority of Sahl bin Saad, he said: The Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, said: “I and the one who looks after an orphan will be in Paradise like this,” and he pointed with his index and middle fingers and separated them. Narrated by Al-Bukhari (3). (What is meant by the sponsor of an orphan is the one who takes care of his affairs.)

On the authority of Abu Hurairah, may God be pleased with him, he said: The Messenger of God, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, said: “The one who takes care of an orphan - for him or for someone else - I and he are like these two in Paradise,” and the narrator pointed with his index and middle fingers. Narrated by Muslim (4). (And the meaning for him or for someone else is: his relative or someone else’s). foreign to him) (5).

[the explanation]

Sponsoring an orphan, being kind to him, and carrying out his affairs are among the deeds that the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, desired, due to his weakness and the humiliation that befalls him by losing his breadwinner. For that, the Messenger, may God bless him and grant him peace, was promised a great reward.

-----------------------------
(1) Surah Ad-Dhuha, verse: 9.
(2) Surah Al-Insan, verse: 8.
(3) M. 10/436 (6005).
(4) M 2983.
(5) Riyadh Al-Salehin, p. 120.

-----------------

[the benefits]

- The virtue of sponsoring an orphan and the encouragement of it.

- This is a reason for entering Paradise and raising ranks therein.

- This includes an orphan, even if he is a relative.

[سواها قلبي]

Strictness in consuming the wealth of orphans (1)

Allah the Almighty said: {Indeed, those who devour the property of orphans unjustly are only consuming into their bellies fire, and they will burn in a Blaze} (2).

On the authority of Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, on the authority of the Prophet, may Allah’s prayers and peace be upon him, who said: “Avoid the seven deadly sins.” They said: “O Messenger of Allah, what are they?” He said: “Associating partners with Allah, magic, killing a soul that Allah has forbidden except by right, consuming usury, consuming the wealth of an orphan, turning away on the day of battle (i.e. fleeing from the army when meeting the infidels), and accusing chaste, believing women of adultery.” Agreed upon (3). (The meaning of deadly sins is: destructive.)

On the authority of Khuwaylid ibn Umar al-Khuza’i, may God be pleased with him, who said: The Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, said: “O God, I am making the rights of the two weak ones more difficult: the orphan and the woman.” Narrated by al-Nasa’i (4). (The meaning of making difficult is to inflict hardship - i.e. sin - on the one who neglects their rights.)

[Explanation]

The Shari’ah has been very strict in warning against violating the rights of
the orphan - who is one of the


He lost his father before reaching puberty - and God threatened him with Hellfire, and the Messenger, may God bless him and grant him peace, considered it one of the deadly sins.

[Benefits]

- Intimidation against eating an orphan's money unjustly.

- It is one of the major deadly sins.

------

(1) See: Tanbih al-Ghafilin 153, Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi 6/38.
(2) Surat al-Nisa, verse: 10.
(3) Kh 5/393 (2766), No. 89.
(4) Al-Nawawi said it in Riyad al-Salihin, and al-Albani authenticated it in Sahihah 1015 and attributed it to Ibn Majah and Ibn Hibban and said: Al-Hakim authenticated it and al-Dhahabi agreed with him.